Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Its a Marathon, Not a Sprint.

I haven't written anything on my blog for more then 2 months now. Its been a super challenging time for me here in India. Frustration, annoyance, disgruntlement. I was at first diagnosed with having renal calculi. I did multiple ultrasounds and a CT scan here in India but the scans showed nothing. So I thought maybe the stone had passed out and the doctors kept on saying that theres nothing to worry about. So I would go home feeling a little bit more relieved.

However, the severe pain kept coming back again and again. Pain is rather subjective. It is so difficult to describe pain to people. There are two types of pain, acute and chronic pain. In which it is further subdivided into more categories. Being a person who is active in sports and suffered so many different types of injuries, pain shouldn't be a problem for me. But this pain is totally different. I've never experienced anything like it. People who have not experienced it will not understand. If I hadn't got it, I probably could not imagine how the pain can prevent one from sleeping,talking and even causing a loss in appetite. This is by far the worst type of pain that I've experienced and I don't think I would wish that my enemies would suffer the same thing. Yeah, Its that bad and I'm not exaggerating one bit. Enough about the pain already.

So basically, this pain has prevented me from attending classes and studying like normal. I naturally became more worried because there wasn't much explanation for the pain. Why on earth is it still there if the doctors say that there is nothing there?? So I decided to go back to Malaysia and have a second opinion. (wait, not second but 4th or 5th opinion) I did all the blood tests, urine microscopy , an ultrasound and finally a MRI. I think by now, I might have had undergone more ultrasound scans compared to a pregnant lady. -.-'' Everything was clear! I didn't know if I should be happy or sad. If everything was fine, what on earth was causing this TERRIBLE pain?

I saw my urologist the next day and he suddenly came up with a diagnosis. Loin Pain Hematuria Syndrome. WTH is that I thought? He said it was an auto immune disease and that there is no cure for it. Wow, Thank You doctor , thats very comforting. He referred me to a nephrologist on the same day. While waiting for the other doctor to come, I googled this unknown syndrome.

Its a SUPER rare disorder( only about 200+ cases worldwide) and 80% of the people affected are women. No cure and only pain management. I didn't want to read further at that time and so I went in to see the nephrologist. He was a much better person as compared to the stupid, uncompassionate urologist. (he should seriously improve on his people skills no matter how good he is) He said that he will not do a biopsy because it is an invasive procedure and I am young so he wouldn't want to damage anything. The most comforting part was that he said the pain will taper off after some time ( how long is 'some time' , well I don't know)

At home I read more about this unheard of disease. I bet that 80% of my lecturers have not even heard of it. It IS NOT AN AUTOIMMUNE disease so the urologist gave a bad description about it.

So I flew back to India, just hoping that the pain will be some how taper off eventually. At that time, I didn't know what was worrying me more. My health, attendance or studies. Obviously its a no brainer, Health always comes first.

I could always blame bad luck but I guess I will not do it. The first 5 months in India, I was plagued with diarrhoea and food poisoning . Just as I thought everything was fine after I got sensitized to the food here, I got this problem. Well, I can only think of it as a challenge by God to make me a better person. Maybe he wants me to understand how a patient feels so that I will study even harder. My parents and other family members have been super supportive during this tough period and I can't thank them enough. I wouldn't want to make them worried but this is not just a regular bout of flu where you will recover quickly so I had to tell them. My friends here have been helpful as well .

Anyway, hope I can sit for my final exam this time around and that they will have some mercy (those tempes think differently) However , no matter what the outcome is , this whole episode will definitely make me a stronger person and a better doctor in the future. I will not give up that easily. Like my cousin used to say ''MBBS is not a sprint, Its a Marathon'' There is still a long way to go and this is just a hurdle in life.

I'll leave you with a video I saw on Maegyvear's blog. Very inspirational.


Milky said...

Keshan!! Take care yourself k.. Abit worry while reading your blog.. When you come back to Malaysia, we go for jogging at Bukit Cahaya.. ^^

lavenderstears said...

Keshan!!! u must get well soon!!!!jia you jiayou!!!!!